From July 12 to 29, 1952, a series of unidentified flying object (UFO) sightings were reported in Washington, D.C. and later became known as the Washington flap

---

You aliens are sociopaths – Interstellar Jeremy Clarksons

by Phil Hall

If you come to Earth, into our communities as a guest, then you must give an account of yourselves. If you don’t then you are merely intruders; offensively imperial and unwelcome anthropologists. Have done with it! Show yourselves! You are hiding something. You are behaving in a way that we find very suspicious, like leopards hiding in the shadows, watching before you pounce. Everyone asks: What are your intentions? You aliens are waiting for something. What are you waiting for?

You know, and we know, that if your intentions were clearer, and if we knew who you were and what you wanted, then we could formulate an appropriate response. The fact that you do not stump up and tell us what you want is revealing. Theory of Mind must be an important issue in the cosmos, and that is probably why you skulk and hide your hand. You do not show your cards. How churlish!

Spinning craft with gaudy lights and bland interiors

When you do show yourselves, it is not really your best side, is it? In 2017, the military in the USA, like the military of Mexico before it, declared that Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAP) were real.

What did you do to help them draw this conclusion? Well, on many sensors, you were seen to buzz and mock the greatest military power on Earth. Not only that, but the greatest projection of military power: the USS Nimitz with support vessels on manoeuvres. US aircraft carriers are the heart of the seven US fleets, and each fleet stationed around the world has the power to knock out a country. Well, depending on the size of the country. It would take both the Fifth and Sixth Fleets and an army to knock out Iran.

---

You showed yourselves to the Nimitz; there was a large unidentified craft hiding underwater. There were objects moving at around 14,000 miles an hour, accelerating from a standing start. One of these objects demonstrated that it could read all the telemetry of the fighter craft it mocked by flying to the fighter craft’s rendezvous point. There were objects that descended from space in a few seconds and went trans medium, directly into the ocean, after which they travelled through the water at unreasonably high speeds. Not only did you show yourselves, but you were showing off. You were being arrogant and threatening, and this was your message:

‘Look at my Ferrari. It goes from zero to 10,000 kph in under six seconds.‘

What are you, some kind of interstellar Jeremy Clarkson? The correct description for your behaviour is aggression. Every time there is an encounter like this, it is usually hidden and not talked about by the military. In reality, you are a serious threat. You reveal yourselves. You show that you can be arrogant and threatening. You imagine that your technology supersedes ours by far, and that it will do so for the foreseeable future. Is this a sign of nervousness on your part? You believe you know and understand us, while we cannot know and understand you. You are mistaken.

After all, on our Earth three hundred years ago—the blink of an eye—humans were trotting around on horses and sitting in horse-drawn carriages. The Montgolfier Brothers had just come up with their balloons. Now look at us. We are all connected. We have 3D printing (probably inspired by ideas recovered from one of your crashed craft). The Internet of Things is about to start up. We have virtual reality, and we even have an idea of how you do what you do with your craft. We have Artificial Intelligence. Miguel Alcubierre worked out how your craft fly. He is a physicist in Mexico City. There are lasers, computers, and nanotechnology. Medical technology has advanced. All sorts of things. All of this, humans have achieved in 300 years.

---

And we have great art. Let’s face it, your craft look like gaudy Christmas ornaments; they flash red, blue, green, and so on in lurid primary colours. The people who say they have been inside your vehicles describe bland interiors – grey and featureless. You really do have a very poor aesthetic sensibility. We both know, in contrast, that the richness of human culture is endless. But you—what do you have? Fast flying objects, perhaps, but they are not pleasing to the eye, I’m afraid. Maybe you follow the philosophy of Alfred Loos and regard all decoration as a perversion.

Speaking of Perversion

We notice that you kidnap people and carry out rather odd gynaecological experiments on them. You tag and release people as if they were migrating swans or badgers. Who the hell do you think you are?

Not only that, but according to reliable and unreliable reports, you artificially inseminate people, then remove the foetus before term and raise humans in your alien society. With whose permission? With whose consent?

John Mack, the Harvard psychologist, investigated many of these cases. He was a thoughtful and credible man. He believed his witnesses. Ask Whitley Strieber if he is happy with the way he and his family have been treated by you. You clearly have a different moral code to us. Do you even have a decent functioning system of laws?

---

We raise cattle to eat them. It is true, and that is awful. But what do you do? You mutilate cattle. You do all sorts of vile things to them—the kind of things a serial killer might do. And you hang around schools. The Ariel event is one of the most celebrated cases of alien visitation. It happened in Zimbabwe, and it is hard not to believe the 60 children who saw you. There was a similar case in Australia. What do you want with our kids? They are impressionable. Leave them alone. Come and talk to us adults instead.

The aliens looked at one of the children and sent her a telepathic message: ‘There is something wrong with the air. The trees will die. Something is going to happen.’ You sent them messages about eco-destruction. This was in the 1990s. Why didn’t you go to the United Nations instead of bothering children in some remote corner of Africa? Idiots!

Pretending to be God and the Virgin Mary

There are always sightings of your craft around volcanoes. I wrote an article about seeing you in 2008 in The Guardian. I assume you read it, if you are so advanced. Are you more advanced than the Chinese government’s spying operation on its own people? One would expect so.

I saw your craft in 2001 in Tlaxcala, and one of the same craft was seen looking inside the volcano Popocatepetl. What? Is there going to be an extinction event related to volcanoes? Do you know something we do not? Tell us. Stop pissing about and stop being so gnomic and skittish.

Apparently, you hide in different forms. You pretend to be little grey men. You pretend to be the Virgin Mary, the mother. You pretend to be Jehovah, landing and impressing a poor Jewish peasant, Ezekiel with your loud “Biblical” technology.

Jacques Vallée, who has investigated you, calls you a trickster. He says you have been here a long time and pretend to be many different things. In a way, this is comforting. It means that humanity hasn’t been hallucinating for quite as much of its history as we think it has. I was watching a talk by Hilary Mantel where she described seeing a squat, malignant little troll when she was seven and, as a result, was unable to discount that there might be more to the reality we know; than a totally rational person might assume.

---

If you are a part of reality—and we must now accept that you are—then it is totally irrational to ignore your existence. Fátima, according to Jacques Vallée, was probably a visit by you where you pretended to be the Mother of God. I mean, that’s a bit low, isn’t it? Messing with people’s religion. You certainly messed with the lives of the three girls who first saw you. Again, you have such a poor moral compass. What was it they saw? A solar disc. And your predictions of disaster given to the select few over many years have very often proved to be completely wrong and misleading. So, what’s your game?

Where are you from?

But now we move on to other matters. So, we are talking about your presence. How many of you are there? When did you arrive? Were you here before us? Were you here long before us?

There was a remote viewing carried out by Joseph McMoneagle where he saw you coming here from Mars—giant figures—and when you came, Earth was a wild, overgrown, and wet place. You landed in the jungle somewhere. I am guessing in what is now Mexico. You set up shop. Thrived? Became smaller, adapted. You might not even be from another star system; you might just be Martians. We might be your descendants. And that is the thing. We can speculate till the cows come home – or they do not, because you have dissected them with lasers so sharp that they cut between cell walls.

Steven Greer, a man whom I despise and admire in equal measure, thinks that you have consciousness technology. That you not only pick up on electronic broadcasts but that you can detect and interpret brain activity. That would make sense. We are beginning to understand that such a thing can exist. Our brain scans don’t tell us all that much at the moment, but they are a big step forward from electroshock therapy and trepanning. With our expert systems (AI), we might even be able to correlate thought and brain activity better. Not understand it, you know, just correlate it. Your systems have probably already gamed out our consciousness.

But your technology is not so far ahead of us that it seems like magic. We are aware it is technology. In the past, though, you pranced about pretending to be gods, fairy queens, trolls, leprechauns, and monsters. You sure had us fooled. What was the title of the Strugatsky brothers’ book? It’s Hard to Be a God. Most of us probably wouldn’t have understood rational explanations a few hundred years ago.

Betty Hill’s Map and Avi Loeb’s Research

---

My own suspicion is this: You started out as a piece of still-functioning, kinetic AI which landed on Earth tens of thousands of years ago. It might be that you came from somewhere or other—let’s say Tau Ceti or Zeta Reticuli. Somewhere, anyway. Then it began to reconstitute. It reconstituted you. Like those Sea-Monkeys advertised in the back of American comics.

Ask Avi Loeb, the top Harvard astrophysicist, who concluded that ‘Oumuamua was an alien artifact. He is in charge of Project Breakthrough Starshot, where we will send very small objects via lasers to Proxima Centauri in a 20-year time frame. That is the plan. Or it was the plan. Loeb speculates that the best way to travel to another planet would be to send the genetic makeup of people to another star in a small self-replicating craft and then reconstitute the technology and people on the new planet with the help of expert systems. I think that is what you did.

Back then, you were unimaginably far in advance of us. Not anymore. Avi Loeb is also in charge of The Galileo Project, where they will scan our skies for your UAPs. Oddly enough, your technology isn’t cloaking you as well as it used to. Or is this intentional?

---

Your living beings are genetic artifacts. You have tailored your reconstituted culture to exist on this planet, as far as you are able to tailor it. We are perfectly adapted; we emerged out of Earth, so to speak. You did not. You are an exotic implant.

But let us be clear. Personally speaking, I have nothing against the idea of alien life forms coming to Earth and blending in with us. It is just natural. It is what sentient beings do on Earth, and it probably works that way in the cosmos, too. You stick your Jamestown here, your Sydney Harbour there, and then take it from there. Clearly, you have decided not to colonise us or destroy us. That is jolly good of you. So, you do have a more pleasant agenda when it comes to humanity and Earth than the ruling class of Renaissance Europe had for the so-called “New World.” Thanks for that. Jolly dee!

A Modus Vivendi is Possible

Where do you live? That is easy to guess. In your very large craft. Under the sea. On the moon and planets. Underground. Some of you may even be among us. I doubt the last guess. I’m sure we would identify you as soon as we talked to you. Almost anyone could. People are perceptive, you know.

I am rambling now, but there is a lot to say. Let’s imagine that you did change our genetic structure in early experiments and that we, as we are now, are partly the result of your breeding experiments and plans. Well, in a way, that would make you the evil scientists and us your Frankenstein creations. But it would also give you a sort of paternity. You like to be called “Father” and “Mother,” don’t you? Perhaps, knowing as you do that we are the result of your machinations, you think we owe you some kind of allegiance. I beg to differ. We owe you nothing.

The time has come for you to come clean: Tell us about your (and our) history, tell us what you intend, and tell us how you see us moving forward. Let us work out a modus vivendi. Yes, I know we have an out-of-control, corporate warmongering capitalism ravaging this planet, but that does not make us stupid. If you have a few disruptive technologies to share with us, then that would be a very nice goodwill gesture. Just don’t do everything through the US, Chinese, Russian, and Indian militaries. Those people act on behalf of governments controlled by the ruling class of the Earth. They do not have humanity’s best interests at heart.

Contact the masses of the people. All I can say is that if you allow this whole contact thing to be released in dribs and drabs by US military jocks, intelligence wide boys, and irritating pricks like Jeremy Corbell, then not only are your aesthetics abysmal, but—it could be concluded—so are your politics and overall understanding of human society.

I trust that this is not the case.

Yours in expectation,

Philip R. Hall

---

1. 1952 Washington D.C. UFO Flap

U.S. Air Force Project Blue Book: Official reports and declassified documents on the 1952 sightings.

Reference: U.S. Air Force. (1952). Project Blue Book Archives. National Archives.

Clark, J. (1998). The UFO Book: Encyclopedia of the Extraterrestrial. Visible Ink Press.

2. USS Nimitz Encounter (2004) & Pentagon UAPTF

U.S. Department of Defense. (2021). Preliminary Assessment: Unidentified Aerial Phenomena.

Fravor, D. (2021). Interviews in The New York Times and 60 Minutes.

Blumenthal, R., & Kean, L. (2017). “Glowing Auras and ‘Black Money’: The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program.” The New York Times.

3. Miguel Alcubierre & Warp Drive Theory

Alcubierre, M. (1994). “The warp drive: hyper-fast travel within general relativity.” Classical and Quantum Gravity, 11(5), L73–L77.

White, H. (2012). “Warp Field Mechanics 101.” NASA Johnson Space Center.

4. John Mack & Alien Abduction Research

Mack, J. (1994). Abduction: Human Encounters with Aliens. Ballantine Books.

Kripal, J. (2012). Mutants and Mystics: Science Fiction, Superhero Comics, and the Paranormal. University of Chicago Press.

5. Ariel School UFO Incident (1994)

Documentary Evidence:

Ariel Phenomenon (2022). Dir. Randall Nickerson.

BBC News. (2017). “Zimbabwe UFO: Why I still believe what I saw.”

6. Jacques Vallée & Trickster Theory

Vallée, J. (1969). Passport to Magonia: From Folklore to Flying Saucers. Contemporary Books.

Vallée, J. (1991). Revelations: Alien Contact and Human Deception. Ballantine Books.

7. Avi Loeb & ‘Oumuamua Research

Loeb, A. (2021). Extraterrestrial: The First Sign of Intelligent Life Beyond Earth. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Loeb, A. (2021). “The Galileo Project: A Scientific Search for Extraterrestrial Technology.” Harvard University.

8. Betty Hill’s Star Map

Fuller, J. (1966). The Interrupted Journey. Dial Press.

Marjorie Fish’s interpretation in Astronomy Magazine (1974).

9. Cattle Mutilations

Rommel, K. (1980). Operation Animal Mutilation. U.S. Department of Justice.

10. Fatima Incident & UFO Links

Vallée’s Interpretation:De Marchi, J. (1950). The True Story of Fatima. Catechetical Guild.Vallée, J. (1991). Revelations (Chapter 8). Ballantine Books.Vatican Documents:

11. Joseph McMoneagle & Remote Viewing

McMoneagle, J. (1993). Mind Trek: Exploring Consciousness, Time, and Space Through Remote Viewing. Hampton Roads.

CIA. (1995). STARGATE Project: Final Report.

12. Historical Context

Gillispie, C. (1983). The Montgolfier Brothers and the Invention of Aviation. Princeton University Press.

Kurzweil, R. (2005). The Singularity Is Near. Viking Press.

13. Ethical & Cultural Critiques

Michaud, M. (2007). Contact with Alien Civilizations: Our Hopes and Fears About Encountering Extraterrestrials. Springer.

14. Steven Greer & Disclosure Project

Shermer, M. (2021). “Why the Pentagon’s UFO Report Is a Watershed Moment—and Letdown.” Scientific American.